SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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