We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
