You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
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