I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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