he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
