I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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