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Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
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