well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."