Got a toothbrush?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.