Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?

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(646): Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton? http://tfl.nu/taql

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(619): View more from California

you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.

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(619): you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you. http://tfl.nu/x6wp

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(757): View more from Virginia

At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

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(757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.

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(403): Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person. http://tfl.nu/qpdl

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(575): View more from New Mexico

Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.

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(575): Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits. http://tfl.nu/8qqe

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.

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(978): Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY. http://tfl.nu/e9te

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?

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(902): Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having? http://tfl.nu/d7ao

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(205): View more from Alabama

...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.

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(205): ...i'd have to set their sheets on fire. http://tfl.nu/qae8

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.

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(403): Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate. http://tfl.nu/jnzf

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�

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(318): Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.� http://tfl.nu/j2xa

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(719): View more from Colorado

Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.

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(719): Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could. http://tfl.nu/sgv5

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...

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(321): I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward... http://tfl.nu/s7n4

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(217): View more from Illinois

I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?

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(217): I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty? http://tfl.nu/8wnt

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.

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(717): Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU. http://tfl.nu/ziqd

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(214): View more from Texas

That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??

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(214): That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that?? http://tfl.nu/dflx

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