The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
