Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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