And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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