Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
