Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.

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(760): Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later. http://tfl.nu/1m2z

Replies (19) Good night (3034) Bad night (873)
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(240): View more from Maryland

just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.

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(240): just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass. http://tfl.nu/1b7s

Replies (10) Good night (4873) Bad night (1422)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.

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(484): we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed. http://tfl.nu/819f

Replies (26) Good night (11384) Bad night (1305)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do

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(802): I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do http://tfl.nu/o1hg

Replies (35) Good night (9695) Bad night (1359)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.

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(570): I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around. (1-570): It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am. http://tfl.nu/ckp3

Replies (8) Good night (4973) Bad night (1211)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.

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(484): You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night. http://tfl.nu/9q4k

Replies (9) Good night (3331) Bad night (877)
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(614): View more from Ohio

This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?

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(614): This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off? http://tfl.nu/dr6k

Replies (10) Good night (1520) Bad night (1291)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high

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(610): he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high http://tfl.nu/1b4w

Replies (2) Good night (1678) Bad night (924)
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(352): View more from Florida

I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.

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(352): I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle. http://tfl.nu/6oed

Replies (15) Good night (3472) Bad night (848)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.

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(775): I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked. http://tfl.nu/hbpw

Replies (9) Good night (1352) Bad night (715)
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(972): View more from Texas

I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.

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(972): I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards. http://tfl.nu/fq92

Replies (8) Good night (1779) Bad night (659)
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(805): View more from California

I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?

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(805): I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal? http://tfl.nu/khtc

Replies (7) Good night (907) Bad night (452)
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(209): View more from California

i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious

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(209): i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious http://tfl.nu/dwdz

Replies (5) Good night (1175) Bad night (564)
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(347): View more from New York

Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'

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(347): Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special' http://tfl.nu/d32s

Replies (1) Good night (671) Bad night (348)
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(716): View more from New York

Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood

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(716): Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood http://tfl.nu/3fmg

Replies (1) Good night (377) Bad night (456)

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