he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
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She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
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If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?