I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
