How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
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Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
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btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten