Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815) Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off? (1-815) You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it. http://tfl.nu/du1d
  Replies (16) Good night (1576) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (830): If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice http://tfl.nu/5b32
  Replies (37) Good night (3885) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it http://tfl.nu/xcmh
  Replies (19) Good night (813) Bad night (3588)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds http://tfl.nu/u8pq
  Replies (36) Good night (6382) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono http://tfl.nu/0ij8
  Replies (32) Good night (5356) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420 http://tfl.nu/8lzk
  Replies (27) Good night (6767) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes http://tfl.nu/g6od
  Replies (17) Good night (5556) Bad night (1294)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year. http://tfl.nu/sg85
  Replies (2) Good night (3448) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): 24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good. http://tfl.nu/55h0
  Replies (13) Good night (7167) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs. http://tfl.nu/rhuf
  Replies (9) Good night (3741) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face. http://tfl.nu/v2r4
  Replies (13) Good night (2008) Bad night (1085)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either. http://tfl.nu/yx3m
  Replies (12) Good night (2415) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon. http://tfl.nu/vwke
  Replies (13) Good night (1849) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here. http://tfl.nu/8u6g
  Replies (3) Good night (830) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while http://tfl.nu/0rg5
  Replies (4) Good night (538) Bad night (283)

Randomize