there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
