my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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