Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
