It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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