Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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