oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
