My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
