$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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