brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
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