Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
