That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
