Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
