i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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