So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.