Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.