It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies