you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's so Britney 2007, you know?