she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?