She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️