..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
