Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
