Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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