I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
