i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize