You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
