drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize