What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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