You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
