What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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