you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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