i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think I sprained my soul last night
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
