Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
