I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
