Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
