And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
if only i could text you this smell
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
