you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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