just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
