He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
