In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So. Much. Porn.
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