your parents love me but you hate me
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize