I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You made out with two different species that night
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
