new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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