It's Friday. Sex?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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