No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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