Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
