i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
