if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
