Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
